Smokey Insanely Hot Hot Sauce

This is a very vague recipe, because I was pretty much just throwing things in the pot and tasting as I went.  Ultimately, depending on how thick and how hot you like it you should have about a quart to a quart and a half of something that ranges from "pretty damned hot" to "hell fire in a bowl".  The ingredient amounts are totally up to you, but I strongly recommend you don't leave out any of the types of chiles because each one brings a unique flavor to the party.  For the smoked serranos I make my own, but you could instead use more chipotles and up the ghost peppers for added kick.

1/4 C ground dried red serranos
1/4 C ground smoked and dried red serranos
1 large ancho, seeded and ground
1 large guajillo, seeded and ground
2 dried chipotles, ground
2-3 T ground chile de arbol
3-4 dried and ground ghost peppers (or to taste, these are brutal peppers)
1 red onion, finely chopped
3+4 cloves garlic, chopped and divided
6 cloves roasted garlic, chopped
White vinegar to taste
Salt and pepper to taste
A little oil to saute

Saute the onion and 3 cloves of garlic.  Add all of the chiles with enough water to barely cover (you may need to add more as the chiles hydrate and the water simmers off).  Simmer for several hours; you may want to do this with a window open as the results can get kind of burny.  Add the roasted garlic in the last 30 minutes of cooking.  Add in the remaining 4 cloves of garlic along with vinegar to taste, simmering briefly, then adjust seasoning as needed.  The result should be hot, salty, and tart from the vinegar, but the ancho and guajillo should add some sweet and fruity notes much like good BBQ sauce.

Vegetarian wontons

~ 4 oz tofu, pressed and finely chopped
4-5 dried shitake mushrooms, prepared as Seasoned Mushrooms
half carrot, finely chopped
1-2 shallots, finely chopped
1-2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1-2 T soy sauce
1-2 t Chinese rice wine
splash sesame oil
wonton wrappers

Mix all of the ingredients except the wrappers in a bowl and allow to sit for half an hour. Place in wrappers, sealing the edges in the typical fashion with a little water. So far I've only fried these (350 degree F oil until golden brown) and served them with a little soy, but I could see them working in wonton soup. It should be noted that for these to be truly vegetarian a low sodium vegetable broth or water should be substituted for the dashi when preparing the mushrooms.

Hummus

Two cans of chick peas (garbanzo beans)
3-6 T tahini (very roughly)
lemon juice
olive oil
minced garlic
salt

This is a very basic recipe, just toss everything in the food processor and adjust to taste and texture preference. As a bit of guideline, make sure you don't go too light on the tahini; early on my roommate in under grad who taught me to make hummus accused me of making poor man's hummus when I didn't put enough tahini in (tahini is the most expensive ingredient). The oil is what you vary to control the texture; I typically put in less than restaurants do because I like mine thick enough to stick to pita and with less fat. Generally You'll want to toss in 4-5 cloves of garlic to start, along with several tablespoons of lemon juice, about 3 T of tahini, a healthy splash of olive oil, and a hefty pinch of salt. From there just keep adjusting until you have something the consistency you want (for me thick and spreadable, for your typical version more akin to a sauce) with a nice rich taste and just enough garlic to wonder if you should go find a toothbrush before continuing your date (I'll save you the questioning: you should). Serve with pita.